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Is He or She the One? How to Know if You're Compatible...

By Elena Watson

We all have that one friend. They're cute, they're smart, they're a blast to hang out with – and they're a dude. It seems like it should be simple. You're single, he's single – so why don't you just date each other? 

The truth is, when it comes to compatibility, particularly in matters of sex and dating, being great friends with a guy sometimes just isn't enough to cut it. You may really care about your guy friend and love spending time with him, but it's important to keep in mind that just because you two click as friends, it doesn't always mean you'd make a great couple. 

So how do you know when there's a dude you'd be romantically and sexually compatible with? 

This is a complicated question to answer. Here are some pointers...

1. Try to actually date him.

Sometimes it's just a matter of going for it and seeing how things work out. If you date someone for a couple of weeks and still don't feel any “spark,” it's a pretty good bet that you guys just aren't compatible in that way. 

2. Are you sexually compatible?

Or if you start dating and find that you're on the same level sexually as well as mentally, then you know you've made a good decision. However, there are also situations where you can tell you'd be compatible with a guy even before you take that next step.  

This is that “spark” I mentioned. Almost everyone has experienced this feeling – when you just feel drawn to a person. Your eyes meet across the room; they lightly touch your shoulder; you both burst into laughter at the exact same time – and you feel a little jolt, almost like an electric shock. You want to get closer to this person. And you can tell that they feel the same way.

In a situation like this, the question of whether you'd be sexual compatible isn't hard to figure out. This can be an awesome thing if you're not looking for anything serious. Don't get me wrong, if you are considering this guy as boyfriend material it can be awesome too! But it's a good idea to keep in mind that, like guy friends, a dude whose physical appearance drives you crazy might not always make the best boyfriend. 

3. Balance out the sexual compatibility with friendship. 

Sexual compatibility is important, but so are a lot of other things – like how well you get along with him outside of the bedroom, whether he's easy to talk to, whether he makes you laugh, and how much you actually like hanging out with him. In figuring out how compatible you are with a person, it's good to try to find a balance of sexual compatibility and friendship. There are a lot of factors to consider, and it can feel a bit overwhelming at times but trust me – you'll know it when you find it. 

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