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Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?

By Rachel Burt
Edited by Therese Mulgrew 

Your Boyfriend’s Ex

So, your new boyfriend is friends with his ex-girlfriend. Deal breaker? 

Where do we all stand on the whole “staying friends with your ex” scenario? 

Here’s my opinion: relationships are about trust.

There are two main reasons you may not trust your boyfriend to be friends with his ex:

1. You don't trust him
2. You are jealous.

We all know that jealousy is a useless emotion. It is only your insecurity and doesn’t necessarily mean anything about your boyfriend. If you don't trust him being friends with his ex, it usually means there are unresolved conflicts in your relationship that may lead to future arguments. Here are some reasons why:

The "EX- Files"
1. He will feel upset that his own girlfriend doesn't trust him.
2. He will feel trapped and controlled.
3. He will feel that he cannot be himself around you.
4. He will start to look for a woman who will trust him.
5. He will start to resent you and feel less affection towards you.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if you don't have it, you don’t have a solid, healthy relationship. Trustworthy men and women stay in touch with their exes because they are people whom they shared a lot with and, in some ways, have grown with. What we tend to forget when we become jealous is that there is a significant reason they broke up. If they broke up and moved on, then you should not have to worry because there is a reason he is with you now too. 

So try a new approach. Instead of being jealous, try to get to know your boyfriend's ex as well. Maybe you will have a lot in common and you’ll gain a new friend! Not only that, but your boyfriend will appreciate the effort and your newfound trust. 

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