Trying to Conquer Forbidden Love

By Sarah Baker

There are many cases in which love has been denied to those who have gone after it. Is there a reason for this? Has society, distance, and our own families kept us from our one true love? Is it possible to love someone and be with them, no matter what? Is it actually possible for love to conquer all? Sometimes. Sometimes, it conquers all; and sometimes, it crashes and burns. The decision is all up to you, really, as it was with Romeo and Juliet, Noah and Allie, and for me personally.

Family and Romeo and Juliet

Sometimes love just isn’t enough. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone if their family doesn’t like you. Dealing with that makes it difficult and puts a stain on your relationship until ultimately, you do not end-up together. Sometimes, you can fight through it, but it’s hard and a lot of times, it doesn’t work out.

Take Romeo and Juliet. It is one of the greatest and most tragic love stories of all time. The pressure and the inability to be together because their families ultimately killed them. Of course, you love someone, but are you willing to die for them? I understand that when you are in love, you would do anything for that person. However, are you willing to hurt each other, your families, and everyone around you because you are throwing a temper tantrum of the highest degree? You have to decide how far is too far? Ultimately, you have to make a decision on whether or not your love is worth it, as well as deciding between your family or the person that you love.

Society and The Notebook

Society makes people think that they have to date someone in their own economic class. More and more, it is becoming acceptable to date someone from a different class than you; however, as with most things, there are still people who have issues with it. A movie star cannot date someone from a lower socioeconomic class without society thinking the star is being used for their status and financial means. Although sometimes it is the case, most of the time it is not that way. As well, sometimes there are people from lower classes who refuse to be with someone who comes from a higher class. In both of these situations, there are prejudices between the classes. These things put a strain on your relationship. If people don’t accept the relationship, and you can’t tune them out, then it most likely won’t work out.

My Dearest Allie, I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our mind.

Take The Notebook. They were completely in love, but society interfered. They had a whirlwind summer relationship, but she was from a higher class than he was. With her family not approving of the class difference, the relationship was ended. She ended up with a man from her class, while he never settled down. Ultimately, they found their way back to each other, proving that nothing is greater than love and that it does indeed conquer all. It proves that if you are able to tune out society and follow your heart, that you can be with the one you love, no matter the class. 

Distance and Shaun

It’s hard to have a relationship with someone when there is a distance between. Distance is probably the worst because there is so much you can do about it, but if no one is willing to, then there is so little you can do. It tears people apart. No matter how many texts, phone calls, Skype calls, photos, or emails that you send, it’s never the same as the person being right there. The problem with distance is it’s nobody telling you no. It’s not society or your families, it’s only yourself. If things were different, if you were closer, it might work out. It’s upsetting and it’s a struggle.

My Huge Family: the Bakers 

I love Shaun, but it never works out that we are in the same place at the same time.  I have not seen him in over 3 years. He lives over 2 hours away and is in the army. He’s been in Afghanistan for the past year. He will come home in about a week for a few weeks, and then he will be deployed to Africa for a year. He loves being deployed and who am I to tell him he cannot be overseas. I wish I could but who can tell someone not to follow their dreams and pursue his passion, even if it means losing the person one loves the most. It’s hard with work and families to make the time to travel to see each other. If I have a chance to travel to be near him, something ultimately happens, and we don’t get to see each other. When he has finally scheduled a trip to see me, something happens with work and the trip is cancelled. Sometimes, I feel like it’s the universe's way of saying it wasn’t meant to be.

Can Love Really Conquer All?

In any case, I’m not sure that love conquers all. I feel like pressure, peer pressure, societal pressure, family pressure, and distance pressure all put a strain on your relationship. No matter how much you you love each other, it has to do with how other people see you or pressure you. I don’t believe that class or family should matter, all that should matter is love. Unfortunately, it all does matter in the end. Do I feel like there is a reason people should not be together? Do I believe that society is keeping them apart and that they are not meant to mix and mingle? No. If you mingle at any sort of affair, dinner, club, or party, you are meant to mix and mingle no matter what the class is.

Some Friendly Advice

My advice, get to know someone before you start talking money, family, and class. If you do that, it might not matter as much. How are we supposed to find true happiness and the one we are meant to be with if we have that much judgment and hatred of certain classes and people? You love who you love, and it should not matter. But unfortunately it does. To deal with all of this and maintain the pressure, you have to come together with your significant other and make some decisions.

1. Decide that your love is worth it, no matter what.

2. Decide that you are going to tune everyone out.
3. Decide that no matter what, you will always defend each other against society and your families.
4. Decide that your love will conquer all.

5. Remember that “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return.” Find your love and keep it, no matter the distance or what your families or society thinks.

Keep love in your hearts, fashionistas.