By Elma B.
For most part of my life I have been hearing about confidence: confidence at work, confidence when giving speeches and confidence in relationships. Well, let's pause for a minute, what exactly is confidence?
The Birth of Confidence:
After some digging, I found out that confidence comes from four factors: 1. our parents (their love and support), 2. our success in school, 3. our physical appearance, and 4. a positive feedback from our peers. Thus, confidence does not stem from one source but comes as a package. It is nurtured very early on in our life and a base is laid out that we continue to build upon for the rest of our life.
What peaked my interest in confidence was that I noticed that confidence encompassed almost every single aspect of my life: at school when presenting in front of a classroom, at a spa when getting overcharged, at work when negotiating for a salary, in a relationship when holding my own ground, taking photos, etc. So, the questions remains how do we build confidence?
How to Build Confidence 3 Golden Rules:
1. Change your rituals. Your everyday routine defines you. If you are not happy with something about yourself, e.g., weight, make an absolute decision to change it. I was not terribly happy with my body, so I made the conscious decision to exercise 6-7 days a week. Every morning, I am out the door with my tennis shoes on. I made that decision because the option of sleeping-in is a lot more painful than the endorphins the gym gives me when I am finished with my workout.
2. Change your focus. Tony Robbins, the self-help guru, made an interesting point: Look around the room you are sitting in and focus on finding everything that is brown. Close your eyes, what did you find that was red? Not much? Now, look around the room you are sitting in and focus on finding everything that is red. Close your eyes, do you see a lot more red than when you looked for brown? You will even call burgundy objects red because that is where your focus lays.
3. Fake it until you believe it. Building self-confidence takes time, so practice by speaking with an assertive tone and having good posture. Your tone of voice and body language send signals to others that are a lot stronger than mere words. Do not cross your arms when standing or sitting and do not slouch. Hence, make sure to stand-up tall/sit-up and speak assertively with your arms wide open. Practice incantations, i.e., getting in front of a mirror and seeing how much better you look when you stand-up tall and speak assertively.
Personally, I have struggled with photography to overcome my shyness of the lens and communicate confidence to the camera. I believe I have come a long way since I started modeling for Club Fashionista. Practice (determination, and endurance) makes perfect, right?
There you have it fashionistas, confidence does start with you but confidence is also reaffirmed by your surroundings. So, if your friends are not your biggest fans, change them. Thankfully, there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and you'd be surprised to find out just how many are waiting to meet you. Below are photos of my latest photo shoot, where I have almost entirely overcome my shyness in front of the camera.
Until next time fashionistas, stay positive and fabulous!