Love or My Career?

By Darlene Vazquetlles

Edited by Sarah Baker 

Should you relocate for love?

Can your career destroy your relationship? This is something I can completely relate to since it has taken a front row set in my life. Life is full of moments when you have to make choices that will lead you through different paths, altering your life in more ways than you can imagine.  One such moment is when you are left to choose between your career and the relationship.  The time comes when that person feels that they have to be in a different place, location wise, for their own career purposes. This leaves you thinking, “What about MY career?” Considering relocation and the effects of it on a relationship can be hard, but I’m here to guide you through it.

There are different factors to consider when making the tough decision to relocate.  Choosing between a relationship and relocating for a job is definitely an exhausting task at hand, and it carries a great amount of mental stress. In order to decide the fate of the relationship and career, we have to weigh the pros and cons. With this, we are still left with wondering whether we are making the right decision or not.  You ride this rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions and slowly come to a stop and try to focus on two elements:  the present & the future.

Present 

Love

You go from one relationship to the other subtracting and adding as to what you want in love. Who is this person in your life?  Are they treating you how you want and deserve to be treated?  Are you both happy?  Is this the relationship you want to be in NOW?  Things may change, but at this precise moment, stay true to your feelings. After all, they may be the one. 

Career

Though, our interests and passions may change from time to time, once you find the one thing you love, it’s hard to give it up.  What are your personal and career goals? Where are you in your career? Are you happy? Can you do it somewhere else? Think about what you want to do at the present time, work towards it, and be attentive to what you are sacrificing in the process.

Future

Love

How do you feel about each other?  Are you on the same page in regards to the future?  This is a sensitive topic, especially if it is still early in a relationship. When sacrifices are being made, it is crucial to make sure that you don’t waste your time or career on someone who doesn’t want the same things. Do you picture a future with this person? It is important to have “the talk.” 

Career

Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life?  Would you be happy doing what you are doing and at the same time losing that person in the process?  What is more important? Will being without this person affect your job causing you to be less productive and not be worth it?

Putting your love to the test

You can never be assured that love will be perfect and last forever. When you find the qualities that you have been looking for in a person, your insecurities start fading away.  As a result, you fall madly in love.  As time goes by you may experience some obstacles. It is here where love is put to the test. Relocation is one such thing that can test your love. 

No regrets

Changing your plans for someone is a paramount gamble.  You start questioning many aspects of your life.  Doubts may show up regarding your relationship and where it is going, as well as to whether you are following the career path that you really desire. I would like to share with you the most important advice that I have received; whatever decision you make, you have to stick to it. You should never look back because by doing so you can become bitter, grumpy, moody, frustrated and worse of all, blame it on your significant other.  

There is no right answer to the question of whether you should relocate or change you career path for someone else.  It is very personal, and it all depends on the circumstances and who all is involved.  I personally believe that there is more to life than your job title, and although it may be hard to maintain, true love is undoubtedly hard to find. It can truly give you more than money ever can. What you thought you wanted might end-up changing to your true calling in life.  If you chose to keep your job, it means that you are letting your relationship go. I am not saying that you should forget about having a career, I am simply stating that there is the possibility of finding something else that will give you the satisfaction and passion a job can give you, even when it is not what you thought it was all along.  In the process, you get to go home to the person that could be the love of your life.   And who knows, maybe there are better opportunities in the new city for what you have wanted all along!

"A career is wonderful but
you can't curl up with it on a cold night."-Marilyn Monroe