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Change Your Perspective to Improve Your Life

By Darlene Vazquetelles


If I tell you that I am able find out what I was doing and how I was feeling on any day from the year 2002 until 2004, you would probably think that I am crazy.  Crazy for "wasting" my time to write everything down and/or crazy for going back and reading it years later.  Too much time on my hands?  Perhaps.  At other times, not so much but rather a lurking curiosity as to: "I wonder what I was doing on this day two years ago?"

What I learned, aside from the fact that I used to spend a lot of time eating, was that whatever was hurting me back then makes me laugh now...

I would often waste my time overthinking about what I see now as insignificant.  Have you ever been there?  For example, have you ever found a letter you wrote to an ex that you never gave to him (or her) and then realized "Uff...I am so glad I didn't."?  

Priorities and perspectives change with time and that is one of the beauties of our life cycles.  One lesson to take from these moments where you glimpse at the past is that life will bring you pain and disappointments, but it is how you see, react and swing at these curveballs that will eventually lead you overcome them.  One of my favorite sayings is: "Everything happens for a reason."  

When we look back at the past and how we reacted to certain circumstances, we feel that we would have reacted differently if we would have known that at the end everything was going to be just fine.  Still those moments are what made us who we are today.  We live, we learn, we grow and we keep on moving.  As to the present:  I want to share with you what I believe can make your life a little better :-)


Me at the Beach
These are the moments when you find yourself saying, "I need a break from everything." I call mine 'Darla time' and by now my friends and family should know what this means, okay? :-) Although it can seem selfish, the truth is that these moments are important for you to communicate with yourself and listen to your needs.  Analyze how balanced your life is, or if there is a lack of balance. 

Forget about work, politics, deadlines...and other "blahs and blahs."  Yep, forget about everything but yourself.  Focus on your "NOW," on what makes you happy in this precise moment. What would you love to do? It can be another job or a hobby. It could be a trip or going to eat to that restaurant that you have been wanting to go to on  a "special occasion."  Write these down and just start planning.  I don't call it a bucket list because these are more simple and immediate things that you could be doing on a weekly and even daily basis to make your life a little brighter.  I went through a phase where everything was driving me crazy especially myself. I was bored, uncertain about the future and pretty much just crawling through life.  As I was having one of these "Darla times," I realized I wanted to start writing again.  It has kept me busy, entertained and happy as I get to express myself through something I really enjoy. 

Whether it's painting, meditation, dancing, soccer, scrapbooking, playing an instrument, walking on your tip toes, skipping, or collecting pennies you find on the street, find something you enjoy and just do it.  Don't ever think they are silly things.  If you like it,  go for it!  Take this time to also think about what is not making you happy anymore and start letting go.  You can find out about how I unlimited the excess baggage... just keep reading. 


Title sounds great, right. Well, if you love what you do, then it should not sound great.  I know that finding a job during these tough economic times is not easy.  I am not telling you to go and quit your job just because you hate it.  But if you are miserable at work, I suggest you start looking for another way of making your money.  I know it is not that easy but "impossible" it is NOT.  Think about what you would love to be doing.  What would make YOU happy?  Then start researching all the possibilities.  The worst that can happen is that you find nothing, but at least you tried.  The best that can happen is that you end up quitting your yucky job and start getting paid doing something you truly LOVE. 


Find something you believe in and go to it when life gets tough.  Whichever religious beliefs you have or even if you do not, it is a matter of having something that you can look at that will bring you a sense of peace and faith.  It can even be found through music.  Aside from entertaining, I truly believe that music has a great power of healing and therapy.  We all have that song that once it is played, our mood suddenly becomes lighter and happier!

Prayer has also been one of my escapes.  It is in times of turmoil that I found sanity and hope through prayer.  I read a lot of books and enjoy the words by preachers like Joel Osteen.  I have learned that God will not hand you anything that you cannot handle and at the end of the day, he has a plan for you. Positivity is a must, and I definitely understand how hard it is to see it at times.  Walking away from ugly thoughts is a must. I try to use the word "cancelado,"  Spanish word for 'cancelled," everytime a negative thought crosses my mind. It sounds silly but it actually works!  And talking about staying positive...lets get to my next point:


Keeping negative people away will make your life so much lighter.  Just a couple of months ago, I was backstabbed by a so called friend, and it is strange how I cried for five minutes and then a sense of peace invaded my life.  For years, I had my doubts about this person and suddenly, it all became clear to me.  Negative people and negative thoughts will keep away the good from your life, so let go so you can let in.

The same goes with love relationships.  Do not settle for someone that is not going to love and respect you the way that you should be treated. I went through this and when things did not work out, I felt my world was going to collapse.  Now,  I cannot be happier, and I am grateful that it happened because now I appreciate that love and respect that I am receiving.  I am a happy girl!  Everyone should be able to feel this but it takes courage to let go of what does not feel right. 


Yep, go out hiking, shopping, jogging, drinking, dancing, and singing!  Be loud, get crazy, laugh, eat, be silly, catch-up with friends. As long as you are being responsible, especially with drinking and driving, there is nothing wrong with a happy hour in the middle of a crazy work week.  Take that break.  These are great ways of letting the stress out, venting to friends and just loosening up. 

Have you ever received an invitation, you said yes and then you started regretting it because you felt tired and did not feel like simply dressing-up?  Then, you feel bad because you said you would go or because they are already downstairs picking you up, so you get up and you go.  From nights like these sometime come the best moments in your life.  You recharged some energy and end-up being glad that you went out.  Appreciate the little things and moments in life. 


Yep, it's not all fun and games!  In my experience, my mood swings become pretty apparent when I have not done any type of exercise or if I have indulged in too many slices of pizza.  Once you stop your exercise routine for a while, it can become hard to start again but once you do, your energy level and mood take a hike all the way to the "I Feel Really Good" because I have climbed to the mountain's top rock.   Combine it with some healthy intake, and you are good to go!


Being able to love the people around you is definitely a way to make the world and your own world a little better.  Stay away from ignorance as it is the main cause for judgment and prejudice, two of the uggliest things anyone can carry inside.  

Do not judge the person that is next to you wearing those dirty, and stinky clothes.  You do not know if he/she lost her house, and this is pretty much part of what was left.  Change your negative attitude towards people, traffic, and even little situations you encounter on a daily basis.  There is always someone out there who is experiencing something worse  in their lives, yes--much worse than being stuck behind a slow driver, a red light or a boring meeting.  

If you are able to spend $10.00 on a glass of wine at the bar, do not hesitate when the opportunity comes for you to donate to a local charity or to a friend in need.  By becoming more positive in terms of how you react to certain situations that can affect someone else or yourself, you are already making this world a better place.  


As a Libra, I know that balance is a key ingredient in my life.  At times, it can get hard to get to it but we should make an effort to make it happen.  An unbalanced life could lead to problems like sickness, too much stress, and broken relationships with people  whom we love.  

When you become a workaholic and forget about family, friends and your own interests, life can become pretty dull and hectic.  I am a lucky girl when I get to say that I have an amazing family who has always been there for me.  You can be replaced in the position you are the minute you walk away from a job, but you will never be able to be replaced in your family's and friend's lives.  Spend time with your spouse, kids, grandkids, siblings, parents, grandparents, and friends.  There is no greater love in life than the one you receive from your family,  as well as your chosen family, mainly your friends. 

Nobody should tell you what makes you happy.  This is something that only you know.  These are my thoughs on the subject, and I hope that you can take something from these lines, written from the bottom of my heart.  

I will end this with one of my favorites ... "DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!"


© DarleneVazquetelles, [2013]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [DarleneVazquetelles] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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