By Darlene Vazquetelles
Edited by Therese Mulgrew
"You
are like a brother to me.” "You are
such a great friend.” "Any girl would be lucky to have a great guy
like you beside her.” If you have heard this before, there is a great
possibility that you have fallen into what is known as the FRIEND ZONE. You have entered a place where the girl is
happy to have you around as a companion she can talk, shop, and gossip
with. There is nothing wrong with this,
unless you have romantic feelings for her.
Here are some tips on how to steer clear of the friend zone.
WHAT TO AVOID:
Getting
TOO close: Spending too much time
with her and becoming her "buddy" could be a deal breaker. Be careful about how time with her is spent.
Do not do too many favors for her and or be overly nice expecting her to like
you. It takes more than that. Have your
own friends. Don't make yourself so available
all of the time. Make your own plans
without her.
RELATIONSHIP
ADVICE: You can be her friend and
listen to her but once she starts asking for advice on dating, love, and other
men, you are in deep trouble. Becoming her confidant in this aspect is not
really a favorable circumstance when you are trying to have another type of
relationship with her. Remember, you are
not "one of the girls.”
WHAT
YOU SHOULD DO:
TOUCH: This may sound creepy but it is not. Let me explain. If you touch her in a sensual way she will
know that you are flirting and that your intentions are more than to be just
friends. A simple touch to her lower
back when you are walking or leading her way. Lightly touching her arm, face,
hands, and one of my favorites, HUGS, are examples of ways you can get closer.
HONESTY: Take the risk and be honest about how you
feel about her. Do not be afraid of
being rejected and losing her as a friend.
We often wonder about the intentions a guy friend has for us. The best is to keep your intentions up front
so that you don't beat around the bush – take a risk and put your feelings out
there. Establish that you like her. Tell her that you want more than a friendship
and when you both go out make your outings a "DATE" by using the
actual word. If she does not reciprocate
the feelings, at least you know before you fall further into love with
her. On that note, you should also be
honest with yourself.
Know when to walk away. Listening to her
venting about other men out there will only make it worse for you. You will
become frustrated, jealous, and bitter.
This is when you have to ask yourself the following: Am I willing to put myself through this pain?
Don't stick around being her platonic friend, waiting to see if she changes her mind. As I stated earlier, do your own thing. Start treating her as an acquaintance. Make room for someone in your life and heart that feels the same way about you. Also, be careful falling into the cat and mouse game. Sometimes people want what they can't have. Once you back up, she might miss having you around and come to you to only leave you again. Think about your feelings first, second, and third.
Don't stick around being her platonic friend, waiting to see if she changes her mind. As I stated earlier, do your own thing. Start treating her as an acquaintance. Make room for someone in your life and heart that feels the same way about you. Also, be careful falling into the cat and mouse game. Sometimes people want what they can't have. Once you back up, she might miss having you around and come to you to only leave you again. Think about your feelings first, second, and third.
It is not easy getting trapped in the friend zone. At one point or another, we have all been there. Yes, it happens to women as well. The way you handle it could go a long way and change the course of your relationship. But remember, whatever the outcome, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.
Follow
me now on Twitter: @darlenevaz
1 comment:
Thank you very much Darlene for your valuable advice is importanyte taken into account all the time! A kiss with appreciation.
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